So you might know that I was in an on and off relationship. Well now it's OFF for damn good. Why was it an on and off relationship for 3 years and 2 months? Simply because I was a fool!!! Yes, i admit it. I always let this dude hurt me and get away with it.. in the end i always forgive him. Lets start by the biggest issue in this relationship.. He constantly lies!!! It all began...the cycle of facebook.. I caught him having a facebook to talk to girls on it, the things i saw on there hurt me so bad.. if it wasn't bad enough.. he used a picture we took together but cut me off and even erased our names and date on it. Of course I broke up with him! But what happened? He apologized and promise he wouldn't make facebook again to talk to girls. Oh you know it, i let it slide because I wasn't thinking with my head but rather my heart. My head was telling me to leave the jerk but my heart tells me i love him and need to work things out.
Months later on.. I found out he made facebook again under a different name!!! I can't even say what his excuse was because it was just sooo lame and I'm embarrassed. I broke up with his ass again! My heart ached for weeks.. he then calls me and came up to see me to say he know he's wrong and promise he won't make facebook again.. LMAO i'm an idiot. Love makes u stupid. We got back... of course that promise wasn't going to last long.
So get this, this one friday back in 2008, I gathered my stuff to get ready to go to his apartment in boston.. I called him and he tells me he's going to be really busy with studying this whole weekend so it won't be a good idea if I come down. I was such a considerate girlfriend, I missed him and wanted to see him but i know studying is important..I agreed to not come see him. Later on at night..I couldn't get a hold of him for a long time.. When I finally got a hold of him at 11:30 pm he starts bitching at me for calling him so many times and tells me he just got back home from the library. So everything was fine after that. Few weeks ago i checked the library hours and on fridays they close really early. I started to cry because I was really dumb to believe everything he said when they were all a lie. The next day, he finally tells me he has his friend staying with him.. like wtff!!..he didn't want me to come up to boston and stay with him for the weekend cus he has alot to study but then he tells me his friend is staying with him for the weekend. I do not trust this guy at all with my ex because back then they used to go to restaurants and hit on waitresses and I find out because I went on his email and saw he messaged some girl.. saying he went into the restaurant she was working in and he was the one wearing red.. Saying along the lines of "I think your cute, I facebook u but u didnt accept it yet".. *sighhh* So back to that weekend. So I was so nervous knowing his friend was staying with him.. We started to argue about that and out of a sudden he says some cuss words to me. I was like this is it I am done.. bye and hung up. What did he do? Nothing. Didn't care to call back to apologize.. hell.. didn't even call me for the rest of the day. The next day on a sunday he finally text me saying I'm sorry i swore at you. TEXT! TEXT! Not man enough to call and say sorry.
Okay, So the next day Monday...lord..do u even wanna hear me say this again... I went onto an email he didn't know i knew the password to. I saw it again... facebook... so i didn't know the pw to his facebook but I changed it to get in.. wow.. shit was grimey.. trying to get with other girls again under some fake ass stupid name again. I called him and i acted like i didn't know anything.. I told him I miss him and I said I should of believe you wouldn't wanna go out and talk to girls too. He's like it's okay...and then i asked him straight up.. If he has a facebook.. He denies it of course!! I broke up with him..
We eventually got back cus he would show up at my house begging for me back. We were working things out and for a while we were good until I found out the most hurtful thing. I saw pics of him clubbing on someone's myspace.. Clubbing on two different days at different places. I was determined to find out exactly when he went clubbing.. and woww...that was on a Saturday the weekend he told me to not come up to see him because he had alot to study. I broke up with him indeed... I was so hurt as usual.. Yeah i ended up giving him another chance like a month later.. I couldn't stand the hurt and I was very weak when he would try really hard to get back together.
You know, there is so much other shit he hid from me and lies but I won't go on stating any more crap.. I always said i could write whole book about it. Don't worry I won't...lol Just wanted to get this out off my chest and maybe help some people out.
We are really done now.. The breakup had to do with girls again.
We been broken up for a month..and this time is so different because we haven't tlk on the phone since we broken up.
I just wanted to do this post cus honestly, it helped alot actually... And I know it will help me in the long run, I will look back on this post and say that it's def for the best I don't give him any more chances because he's never going to stop mistreating me.. all the reasons are there.
And even though he tried to get back at first.. which was a lame attempt cus it didn't really showed how much he cared. Never apologized.. Didn't take him long til' he started being a careless asshole. Now that school is back.. there are girls to occupy his mind.. Maybe he went clubbing again. Now he can facebook all he want..Who knows.. all I know is that he's selfish and won't get away from hurting me again.
He has about 6 email accounts.. who the fuck needs that many email accounts? I'll tell you who....LIARS!!!
I was soo messed up by it all that iv'e lost 10 lbs. Every morning I wake up feeling how much skinnier iv'e become.. I start to get too depressed. I don't have an appetite to eat at all. I just can't understand how could someone be so selfish and careless. If those girls were actually interested him.. he wouldn't have ever cared to try and get back with me. I was practically just there til he finds somebody else.
I was used...betrayed...
The only thing that keeps me positive is my passion for photography. Even sometimes I just wanna give up on that.. but I wont.. I CAN'T.
I hate him to not even care about my well being... I'm not even going to try and work things out with him.. In the beginning I thought, maybe JUST maybe we could work things out.. but now, I realized he took my love for granted and played a game.. Whenever i felt extremely down to the point I didn't wanna live anymore..I call him...and he just keeps ignoring it.
I am not going to be that stupid and weak girl anymore.
All i can say now to him is... Have all the fun you want now but don't think about trying to get back with me when you're done being selfish.
Like I said.. I think this could help other people out there.. whether you are in an on and off relationship or just so you know what to expect in a relationship. If it doesn't work out the first time.. why would it work out the second, or third time. Don't give into the I'm sorry Or I promise bullshit.. I did because I loved him. ohhh..silly me...
Now, i'm not claiming i'm a perfect gf.. Yeah I can do some messed up things but at least I can be honest about it and though he wouldn't be able to find out I talked to another dude while we breakup, I let him know.. Everything I did was because of him anyways. You want to talk to other girls, you will have to learn that I can replace you too. I didn't go making facebook to talk to other guys on and I sure dont seek other dudes to get with.. But you, you always tried to replace me.
I can't imagine all the other shit he's done behind my back that I couldn't find out on the computer.
I'm angry at myself in the end because I should have known better. So ladies, relationships can get really ugly but if you find a good man than congrats cus it's not easy finding a good man that can appreciate you and be real with you.
I came upon this article earlier about Facebook ruining relationships..I know it isn't just me that goes through this bullshit. I feel so bad esp. for married women!!
Facebook ruined my relationship.I know this post is super long...altho I could of go on longer.. i'll just leave it at that.
That was 3 years of my life I can't take back.. Please don't make the same mistakes i did. I always used to think "I rather hurt with him then without him". It take's time to heal and expect that it could even be months or years.. Eventually the right guy will come around.
;)
